My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
