Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
