Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol