Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
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He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
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I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize