im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
