You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
