the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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