my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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