im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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