At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
