i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize