New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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