your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Crop dusting thru forever 21
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
