I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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