just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize