I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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