Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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