Need sex. Gaining weight.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
