I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
