Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
