You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize