white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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