I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
