I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
