Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
