Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
