yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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