Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
