Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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