problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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