i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
