I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
