oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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