she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
