the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize