What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
