You just made me feel so damn special
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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