At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
birth control should be required to get into college
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
