Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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