i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
