So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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