Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
