you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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