Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
