Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
