so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
