I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize