two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize