He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
