I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
