So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
