ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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