I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I am available for nakedness
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
