All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
