Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
