Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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