So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize