So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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