i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
