Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
